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Online Dating Advice


Blind dates, bar scenes and clubs can get old if they’re not getting you anywhere in the dating scene. If you’re ready to try something else, consider an online dating service. There are many free online dating sites. Even the paid ones offer free services. But if you want to get serious about finding that special person, most membership fees won’t cost you more than a night at the bar.

Online dating can be just what the love doctor ordered. But there are several things you need to keep in mind while searching for the love of your life (or just a few great dates). Not only are there some do’s and don’ts you need to be aware of, you also need to be careful how much information you give away.

But first, just what is online dating and what sites can help you get into the dating scene?

Online Dating Services
There are two types of online dating services: the kind that use questionnaires to provide you with personality matches, and the kind that allow you to post information about yourself and who you’re interested in. The match sites usually charge a small fee, but do have periodic promotions for free 7-day trials. Personals sites are usually free, but do offer some paid services for a nominal fee.

Personals sites have come a long way since they first started in the mid-90’s. Back then, they were little more than glorified newspaper personals, but today they have robust offerings. You can post pictures, fill out a profile about yourself, and let people know what you’re looking for. You can even enjoy IM services, chat rooms, and video and audio messaging.

Here are some of the top personals sites:

  • LavaLife
  • Date.com
  • AmericanSingles.com
  • Matchmaker.com
  • Match.com

Match sites are better suited for singles looking for serious, committed relationships. Their matchmaking questionnaires and software examine your lifestyle, lovestyle, priorities, personality and other factors. These factors are designed to help find someone who would be the perfect match for you. They also have all the bells and whistles of personals sites, but they almost always have a monthly fee. These sites also tend to do the searching for you instead of having you sift through profiles on traditional personals sites.

Here are a couple of the top match sites:

  • eHarmony
  • Chemistry.com

Religious Online Dating Sites
If you’re a religious single looking for a database of singles who share your religious beliefs, there are several credible dating sites out there for you. Here are some of the largest and most popular:

  • JDate.com – Jewish online dating site (free registration now)
  • ChristianCafe.com – Protestant/Christian online dating site
  • CatholicMates – Catholic online dating site
  • CatholicSingles.com – Catholic online dating site
  • CatholicMatch – Catholic online dating site

Online Dating Advice
Whether you’re new to online dating services, or a long-time user, there are a few things you need for successful online dating. If you’re using a personals site, you need to keep in mind that it will be highly competitive. There are a lot of people on these sites, and while it’s up to you to find a possible date, it’s also up to others to find you as a possible date. Even if you’re using a site that matches your personality with someone else’s, each person will get multiple matches, so your profile and actions need to set you apart from the rest of the group. So take this online dating advice to heart, and see where it takes you!

Online dating do’s:

  • Be yourself, but be unique. Each person is unique – no one else is like you. That’s something you need to capitalize on when building your profile, answering your match questionnaire, and corresponding with possible dates. It’s important that you’re still true to yourself, but don’t be afraid to punch things up a bit to help set yourself apart from others.
  • Be specific. When telling others about yourself and contacting possible dates, share some specific info. Whether you’re a man or a woman, when you contact a possible date for the first time, you need to be specific about what drew you to that person, and what you think you guys would have to offer each other. Don’t write a response that could be sent to anyone.
  • Be appropriate. You don’t really know who you’re dealing with, so an off-color joke or comment could alienate a great date who wouldn’t have been offended if they knew you better. Cursing and coarse language are also things better left until you know your date well enough to know that you won’t upset or offend them.
  • Be mysterious. While honesty is important, make sure you unveil enough about yourself to be interesting. But keep some back so you remain mysterious. If everything about you is out in the open, it will make for rough conversation on the first date! Remember: You want to keep your date curious about you so there’s more than one date!
  • Be honest. And not just about yourself or your background, but also about whether or not you want to meet the person or want to have a second date. If you don’t have any interest, or don’t think it’s going to work out after that first cup of coffee, own up to that. You can get a bad reputation by trailing people along because you weren’t honest with them.

Online dating don’ts:

  • Don’t use caps in your profile or email. Don’t use caps in your profile or e-mail. IT’S RUDE. IT’S THE EQUIVALENT OF SHOUTING, and no one wants to be yelled at. If you want to emphasize something, try putting those words in bold or italicizing them. Not only will they be better received, but your e-mail/profile will look nicer for it. If you need to know the html for your particular online dating site, use what you want bolded and what you want italicized instead of using all caps.
  • Don’t remain online too long. In other words, after a few e-mail exchanges, it’s time to meet in real life. Too many couples can get caught up in the excitement and sweetness of long letters and love notes. Unfortunately that kind of correspondence doesn’t tell you what you need to know: Could you actually stand this person in real life? So make sure you take things offline after a few e-mails so that neither one of you wastes time.
  • Don’t brag. No one wants to read about how you’re “So Hott XXX.�? Things like “tall, dark and handsome�? or “the greatest man you’ll ever meet�? are cliché and annoying. A potential date wants to know who you really are, and your arrogance – whether real or not – can be a huge turn off.
  • Don’t express desperation. This will turn any potential date away in a flash. This includes any gloomy words or phrases like this: “Why doesn’t anyone e-mail me?�? If you are desperate, have someone else help you write your profile and important e-mails to keep you centered. And remember to always be hopeful.

Online Dating Safety Tips
While all personals and match sites have safety measures in place, a lot of your safety depends on how much you share about yourself with others. Here are some online dating safety tips you need to follow:

  • Never share any passwords or account information.
  • Do not share your full name, address, phone number or other personally identifiable information.
  • Do not provide personally identifiable information about family, close friends or loved ones.

Meeting someone new is a great experience, but since you’re meeting them online you need to remember that many people aren’t who they say they are. This is another reason it’s so important to move the conversation offline after several correspondences. It will give you an opportunity to see that the person you’re interested in is who they say they are.

Have fun!
Online dating services have helped hundreds of thousands of people meet girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses. If you remember our online dating advice and safety tips, you, too, can be lucky in love!

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